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October 30 Horse SenseReading through TV Week the other day; as one does, I came across the description for a movie which sounds absolutely thrilling:
it is as follows:
"Sunday 29 October, Channel Seven 3:30pm
Horse Sense (1999) Drama. Joey Lawrence, Andrew lawrence.
A spoiled kid from Beverly Hills visits his cousin in Los Angeles,
who ignores him."
Doesn't that just sound absolutely scintillating? One kid meets another kid and they ignore each other
for two whole hours. And because obviously the movie was so popular the first time they showed it,
this is the second time the network is showing it. I repeat, two hours of one kid ignoring his cousin.
Now, you can see why I elected not to watch it from the description given in the paper so I could be way off track with my opinion of the movie. It could in fact be high quality, suspenseful drama with a dynamic acting and supporting cast that challenge the views of society as we know it and leave their message resonating with the audience as the credits roll....... But I highly doubt it. October 27 Fish Fillet?"The noun 'dictionary' was actually intended regarding shirts," explained the fish airily, as he lead his way through the thesaurus museum. He had originally been cooked in a pie, but that idea was a little half-baked (teehee) so he lived to share his dictionary knowledge and musical prowess with the world "however the translation from Esperanto was a little dodgy, so we now have the current form of the word". As well as leading guided tours, Mr. Feesh was an avid listener of Triple J and particularly enjoyed entering phone competitions under the pseudonym Harriet Tenterfield, when he was not watching Ze Frank or writing in his blog entitled 'flesh in the pan'. I say was, because a tragic thing happened to Mr Feesh (or Harriet) this morning. While out on his morning powerwalk (which he was inspired to take up by the bushy browed prime minister of ours) he was in fact... no, it's kinder not to say how it happened, but it involved nets, Japanese people, an ironing board and a submarine and loud shouts of "no!"
Lets just say, farewell, Mr Feesh, a dear friend, we may well meet again one day, only wrapped in paper with a side of chips and salt.
Now that's just not funny... October 24 Java bunny says; "system.out.println""Woot" shrieked the bass guitar, gesticulating wildly as the cat entered the room, his empire being guarded by a solo elephant wearing a basket. Stranger things have happened, says I. The cat, deciding discretion was the better part of valour ( teehee; thats from Heroes of Might and Magic, [never mind if you havent a clue what I'm talking about and continue reading] ) and retreated, having only recently had a messy breakup with a similarly pitched guitar, and not desiring a repeat performance (performance, geddit, It's a bass guitar, oh never mind). He was incredibly preoccupied, having numerous doubts regarding the loyalty of the be-basket-ed elephant which were not in the least eased by his fortune tellers dire predictions of "a jumbo peanut snuffler attired in a carrying mechanism making off with the Dow Jones'." In his sly feline mind he formulated a plan that only a sly feline mind could formulate. He decided to DO SOMETHING (I wont say what 'cos I haven't though of it yet, but it involved returning home). He saddled his magic PC monitor and took off for his homeland of Swaziland, determined to disrupt the marauding, malevolent elephantine meanderings of FRANK ( the elephants name, keep up!). The PC monitor, being closely related to MSN madness felt way behind on its "lets do something odd" schedule, having not done something odd for at least 2 days, and promptly decided to deposit its royal rider in Greenland. The cat slumped in a heap, while eyeing some very yellow snow carefully (bad taste I know, sorry). What could he do now? For the sake of not writing a horrendously long entry (or horrendously longER), we shall say that the cat was so dejected he vowed to become mute and inhabit Greenland forever. "Lol" replied a passing penguin (to what? I wonder). The lemon meringue on a nearby igloo raised an eyebrow (this one had eyebrows, OK) in mock defiance of his authority enquiring; "Is that code for something?" October 20 Memoirs of a muck-up dayWell, it appears the general public have mixed views of fairies on public transport, or indeed fairies in public in general. In what I now look upon as a kind of odd social experiment, it has been discovered (probably not surprisingly) that the ordinary public are squares. Crabby and boring.
The day started off ok, except that I took much longer trying to pin my hair up than anticipated so, after about 80 bobby-pins and 40 minutes, rather than being somewhat early, I was now barely on time. I fastened my sequined tutu and slid on my sparkly pink wings. The result? Only the best gosh darn fairy youve ever seen. I was fairly proud, you see, I made both the wings and the tutu myself. Anyhow. Slid myself out the door (I had to learn how to negotiate doors sideways now that there were wings attached to my shoulder blades) and trotted off down the street. First guy I saw was waiting at the bus stop; a curious cursory glance as I passed, but nothing remarkable. I got to the tram stop, got on, and got some quite cold looks. Everyone was decidedly ignoring the sparkly pink fairy that had just alighted the tram. One wonders if the reaction would have been the same if I had brought my pet baby elephant with me. They'd just all sit there thinking "well I'm not saying anything, HE should say something..." I sat down and some stupid cow sits next to me and keeps leaning on my wings; like hello, they are attached to me and I CAN FEEL IT every time you bash into them. This old grandma opposite gives me the dirtiest glarey look you've ever seen in your whole life. Like what? I'm not making YOU dress as a fairy lady, what's your problem?
I start freaking out as I get most of the way to school and see no-one else in costume. Do I have the wrong day? Is muck up day NEXT Wednesday? OhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGod. Get to school and see the array of devils, a drag queen, a hulk, wolverine and a hobo. Phew.
The usual ensues; see friends parade, blah blah. In short, me and friends decide to go down to the shops to get the digital photos developed straight away. This entails another bus trip so we get to the bus stop and wait. Another old woman arrives, but this one is quite friendly, She loves our costumes. In fact she loves the look of us so much, we get the complete rundown of where all her kids went to school and how one has now gone on to become an actor. Bus comes, so we get on, and sit down. ANOTHER dirty look from a little old lady, opposite. In shock. I should have asked what her problem was, but I didn't recover fast enough. We get to the shops and get off, and I hear from behind me "Look, its a fairy!" I turn around and there is THE cutest little girl and her mother behind me. i smile at the girl. We walk throught the shops, get photos developed, go back to bus stop. by this time Tweedledoo (one friend) has had enough so we leave her there and go get drinks. On the way another woman stops me to say how gorgeous I look. How nice. Return victorious with drinks, and it appears that Tweedledoo has coerced a bus driver into waiting for us, and as we get on some women make comments, am not sure whether they were nice or not, but I smiled at them anyhow. I got off the bus and got the tram home, and there's this weird looking guy staring at me. All of a sudden, he goes "the sparkles are great, sunshine." Righto. I explain to him about muckup day, and making all my stuff. he still seems a but creepy so I move to a seat further down the tram. This other guy, maybe 30something glares at me; What did I ever do to you?
Get off the tram and slowly inch home. My feet are killing me by this stage, and I am IN PAIN. I'm crossing the street and this kinda trucky-utey thing slows down. I assume that he's turning so I stop. I look up and it looks like he's waving at me. Now thats a better reaction Australia! Wave back and make my way home.
Now, Friday I am still getting glitter off my face, but why are so many people so uptight? Yeah there were some good reactions, but there were just as many glares. Is that the reaction punks and goths get? And if so is that what they want?
The whole experience just made me think about how people who dont fit the 'normal' mould are treated. Maybe i'll take to wearing the wings more often.... |
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